Well, it’s been almost a year since my last post about my career path/life. I seemed to have gotten somewhat stuck in the situation about which I was previously complaining. That situation has been both one of the best and absolute worst of my life. Our move to Baltimore has likewise been a challenge, with hopes for a new happy start getting kind of dashed against the rocks of maladjustment and feelings of being unfulfilled both professionally and personally.
I last posted about Hopkins being a stopping point and moving toward bigger goals. I had also posted about inept management, the need for departmental reform, and my love/hate relationship with healthcare. Well, all of that came together to create the perfect storm that kept me from moving on. I had been asked to work in the pediatric portion of the OR, an area that I truly love. When you have a team that chooses to be in Peds, you tend to have a team that can put aside their personal shit for the sake of the patient. Kids can’t be treated like small adults, there’s more complexity, more to go wrong, and can go wrong faster. My background and work ethic fit well with the Peds crew. I wanted to see changes made, the same changes that others wanted to see made. Long story short, all the support from the top pediatric anesthesia attendings in the best hospital in the world couldn’t overcome the ego and ineptitude of my department’s management team. Furthermore, management seemed to become hostile toward me, I entered a political game to which there seemed to be no way to win, which resulted in me feeling like I couldn’t fully perform my job. When you get to this point, you leave. Besides, I need to remember what one of my favorite attendings said, “It’s not your job to fix it. Although it’s really nice that you care enough to try.” She told me I needed to go where I’m appreciated by my managers, not abused. So I am leaving as soon as I find another position. In Dallas.
That’s right. We are moving back to the Big D. In fact, Chris is already there with Askum, our boy cat. I have an interview on Tuesday, for another “stopping point” type of position, this time sim lab equipment tech at Children’s Dallas. I really need to get out of healthcare or at least hospitals.
There are actually a lot of people I will miss from Hopkins. I have made some friends who have been invaluable, mostly friends who will also move on, once their residency or fellowships end. I hope to stay in touch with them. They have made all the difference in what could have been a totally miserable year. I will really miss them, and I hope that I stay in touch with them better than I have others in the past. They played a large part in my staying sane. For that, I will forever be grateful.